Aftertaste
Nov. 27th, 2009 | 09:39 pm
well if i have no other talent, at least I am effin' fantasic fabulous brilliant ace outstanding magnificent excellent supercalifragilisticexpeiliadocious at ruining all good things that come my way!
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The Land Between Two Solar Systems
Nov. 15th, 2009 | 03:39 pm
Current Mood: 
giddy
Current Music: MGMT - Kids
the one thing i do know is that i don't know very much. i have much to learn and much to discover. these days i am overcome with an overwhelming desire for a change in scene. anything, anywhere. throw me into the unknown, o cosmic forces. i crave change though the reluctance to let go is an ever-present, almost tangible being. i thirst for connection and a permanent fixture to this dislocation that has gone on for far too long and over too wide a space.
maybe i know one more thing: i know that it is likely that i will never settle. i will flit on in search of something i will never be able to put a definition on. it will be a driving force, but also my downfall.
maybe i know one more thing: i know that it is likely that i will never settle. i will flit on in search of something i will never be able to put a definition on. it will be a driving force, but also my downfall.
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(no subject)
Oct. 22nd, 2009 | 11:38 pm
haha i alternate between 1) feeling sorry for you because of the way you completely miss the point every. single. time. despite thinking you're made of awesome and 2) feeling sad that you cannot see what is in front of your face and 3) feeling angry at my own indecision
in other news, omg my eyebags are TAKING OVER MY FACE
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Dean Young
Oct. 18th, 2009 | 06:44 pm
When I saw you ahead I ran two blocks
shouting your name then realizing it wasn’t
you but some alarmed pretender, I went on
running, shouting now into the sky,
continuing your fame and luster. Since I’ve
been incinerated, I’ve oft returned to this thought,
that all things loved are pursued and never caught,
even as you slept beside me you were flying off.
At least what’s never had can’t be lost, the sieve
of self stuck with just some larger chunks, jawbone,
wedding ring, a single repeated dream,
a lullaby in every elegy, descriptions
of the sea written in the desert, your broken
umbrella, me claiming I could fix it.
shouting your name then realizing it wasn’t
you but some alarmed pretender, I went on
running, shouting now into the sky,
continuing your fame and luster. Since I’ve
been incinerated, I’ve oft returned to this thought,
that all things loved are pursued and never caught,
even as you slept beside me you were flying off.
At least what’s never had can’t be lost, the sieve
of self stuck with just some larger chunks, jawbone,
wedding ring, a single repeated dream,
a lullaby in every elegy, descriptions
of the sea written in the desert, your broken
umbrella, me claiming I could fix it.
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We Grow Up And Wide Apart
Oct. 6th, 2009 | 10:14 pm
i am tired of resenting and hating, tired of being this bitter, grudging person. everyday i step into the shower to wash the dust off my skin and the demons out of my hair but i do not recognize myself. i wish i was a bigger person, i wish i could see that my sorrows measure next to nothing. i don't want my youth to slip from fingers, left to waste away amidst all this anger. it is all i have.
i want to be able to walk away. i need the faith and the strength to help me put down my childish grievances. i need to find my sanity, find myself, to look this madness in the eye. i need to put down this overpowering jealousy. i want to rid myself of this crippling social inadequacy so i can rid myself of this permanent state of dislocation. i need to stop ruining every good thing that comes my way. i want to be able to know that i am bigger than this and that i belong, if not here, then elsewhere (i want to know that you care)
i want to be able to walk away. i need the faith and the strength to help me put down my childish grievances. i need to find my sanity, find myself, to look this madness in the eye. i need to put down this overpowering jealousy. i want to rid myself of this crippling social inadequacy so i can rid myself of this permanent state of dislocation. i need to stop ruining every good thing that comes my way. i want to be able to know that i am bigger than this and that i belong, if not here, then elsewhere (i want to know that you care)
my rage frightens me and i know it will be my downfall.
"Whether we fall by ambition, blood or lust,
Like diamonds we are cut by our own dust."